Aw, shucks. Love.

by Amelia Kanan

Have you ever loved someone in a way that you’ve never loved anyone before?

This love you feel, forces you to be a better person. It literally forces you to make the right decision. Selflessness, strives, sacrificing and forgiveness just leap from your heart out of the compassion you feel for that one person.

With this love, you are able to literally feel disgusted, annoyed, repulsed and so angered by that one person and yet still, at the same time, feel the rush of an undertow filled with respect and adoration.  So, no matter how repelled you are, it keeps you from saying mean things, ignoring them, hurting them and walking away from them.

When you love like this, it makes you feel strong in a sense, that you aren’t alone. Someone knows you, understands you and will, without a question, always go to bat for you. You begin to believe in yourself more because there’s someone, who you adore, that thinks the world of you. On the other hand, it can also make you weak, in the sense that you can put their needs above yours. Sometimes, you even lose your focus. Most of the time, it’s just really comfortable. Having that one person, who knows you better than anyone else, sitting right next to you, feels safe. Reassuring. Warm.

Love, though, can so easily be mistaken by attention, companionship, sex, attraction, lust, alcohol, convenience and timing. Love is not an easy thing and most of the time, it isn’t fun. At risk of sounding cliché, love hurts, you have to fight for it, work through hard things and be willing to sacrifice things.

The best thing that love can do is help make life less stressful because you have someone to vent to, make you laugh, heed advice from, help make decisions with, snuggle with and hold your hand through all those shitty things that life has in store for you. That feeling of companionship, is what causes so much frustration, resentment, anger and miscommunication in relationships. That’s what everyone wants from someone. To feel connected, understood, unalone, secure and supported is the reason as to why people go through all the crap they go through.

The thing that really throws me through a loop is how men’s needs are so different from women’s needs. Men don’t only need sex but they need a female that proves something to the world, a regular beauty that reflects to other men that they are on top. Women on the other hand need security, a partner in crime and stability. It’s interesting too because, men can have sex with just any female but women can’t have sex with just any man and on top of it, men, just because they can have sex and like having sex with a particular female doesn’t mean he wants to be with her.

I’m not in love and it’s a bummer because all of that (even the parts about sacrifice) sounds incredible to me.