Guilty Pleasures

by Amelia Kanan

I have a lot of them but here are just a few:

-Dressing up in something I love (currently, it’s short black shorts and a 3/4 length olive green t-shirt with a plunging neckline and brown ankle heels), and doing regular things like cleaning, working…and even fun things like dancing and maybe pretending to sing on stage…all by myself.

-Murder, She Wrote. I’ve hated for a long time but the other day, my mom was watching a marathon and I got sucked in…Jessica (Angela Lansbury) was driving, with her publisher to Amish country to buy a quilt for someone’s wedding and boom! They were run off the road, her publisher couldn’t move because of back spasms and when Jessica found help, she discovered her publisher was, actually, a shunned Amish man. They spent the night and the man who housed them was killed. Want to know more? Murder, She Write is on Netflix.

-Receiving compliments. On the surface, I’m uncomfortable but deep down…I love it. Keep them coming.

-Bread. When the crust is flaky and the middle is fluffy, it’s one of the hardest things for me to resist.

-Teling people “no”. It’s kind of a problem. actually. Sometimes I feel guilt but it doesn’t stop me from canceling, rescheduling or backing out of plans. Los Angeles is responsible for this flakiness.

-Babies. I see a random stranger baby and, only if t’s cute, I can’t help my huge creepy smile, crazy eyebrows, weird voices and encroaching nature.

-Gossip. Ok, lump me in with every other woman but please hear me out first. It’s not because I love to hear how unhappy people are but rather because I believe that I can offer sound advice.

-Making out and getting felt up. Sure, the result of all this can feel really good too but there’s something about just making out and fooling around that can make me feel so alive and beautiful.

-Staring at myself in the mirror. It’s true. I can spend hours, lost, in my bathroom mirror. Sitting on the sink, stretching my skin, plucking, squinting, making faces and sometimes even kissing myself…(just to see what it looks like…).

-Giving money to homeless people. Okay, maybe it’s not a “pleasure” to do this but I have to admit that it relieves some of the guilt I feel for being so blessed.

-Complimenting strangers. At the risk of sounding as if I’m projecting my own feelings, I’m going to say that I feel like so many people are insecure. They don’t like themselves, are unhappy with the hands they’ve been dealt and cry in closets so, I take it upon myself to compliment as many random people in a day to try and make as many people as I can feel loved and worthy.

-History. At the risk of sounding like a weirdo, I get goosebumps from old things (don’t be dirty).

-Disagreeing. Although I don’t know why nor do I like that I do this but I think I enjoy disagreeing with people because I find myself disagreeing without even truly understanding the issue that I’m arguing.

-Telling people who I am. Whatever it is my job, my family history (Swedish royalty) or just my name, I love introducing myself.

Whoa. After writing this, I got freaked out thinking that I just might be a narcissist.

Eh, no. I’m too insecure to be such a thing.

I hope you just appreciate the honesty.