Girls, play nice!

by Amelia Kanan

Two of my "sisters".

Ladies, girls, women, mamas, spinsters, sisters, daughters, grandmas I don’t care who you are, how much money you make, what you’re into, where you live, what your sexual preference is or if you consider yourself an activist or not…I need to talk to you.

First, I’d like to tell you how amazing you are. Strong, beautiful, smart, brave, capable of multitasking, true visionary, a doer, compassionate, nurturing, forgiving, generous, courageous and a fighter.

Yes, you are amazing and I truly believe this however, we need to talk about the other stuff, too. The things is, we females can be mean to one another: judgmental, hurtful and downright vicious. I believe the reasons are due to insecurities, feeling threatened and a lack of knowledge or perspective. I used to think it was an illness that existed among Adolescent females who were experiencing hormones for the first time but thanks to life experience and show like Real Housewives, I’ve learned that it is a social disease that doesn’t spare anyone due to their age. The fix is easy. We females, for as catty and awful as we can be, are at the same time the most empathetic. The minute we learn of a tragic backstory, the daggers melt and instantly we are ready to love, nurture and support our sister, even though the day before we were talking shit about her over dinner. That’s where the solution exists-within knowledge and perspective. Instead of assuming “she has it all”, “her life is perfect” and getting catty over it why not assume “She could use a friend”?

Women bashing women kills me not only in my own daily life world but on a global front as well. How can we tear each other down and say things like “Don’t worry, she’s gained like 10lbs. Haha”,  “Oh. my.god. I heard she’s a total slut” or “I heard her and her husband are really struggling” when there are women like this who are literally surviving in their day-to-day hell. It’s easy for our Western Cultured ways to get caught up in narcissism, vanity, comparing, competing and We, as females, are not meant to compete with each, we are here to support one another. Looking back at the list of adjectives I used to describe you, that is all of us, those are the things we share so why would we compete to be them when it’s already within us, naturally? It’s silly. Not very productive and all it does is cause negativity. Not to mention, it sets a horrible example for the daughters of our generations.

Let’s teach through our actions and bring goodness into the world not only for others in need but for ourselves as well.

Here are just a few organizations that are pretty awesome and deserve some traffic. We all lead “busy” lives but if you have time to Facebook, pin on pinterest or read your food blogs then you have time to take a peek at these and see if there’s a way you could get involved or even just spark a conversation with another fellow sister.

Women For Women has lots of different ways for you to get involved in their organization that helps rebuild the lives of women who are survivors of war. A price range of donations can accommodate every income bracket; for under $20 you can help a woman in Rwanda sell food at the marketplace, assisting her to generate her own business. Or, if you’re the social type, attend/host a barrage of events (running, walking, dance party, dinner party or yoga). Also, there’s a larger option to fully sponsor a specific woman for a year.

Amplify Your Voice is a U.S. organization that advocates for health related rights plus, an educator on most international health issues as well. What I love about them is they make it very easy to e-mail the President, your state senators and representatives by having the email already written (but you’re able to edit if you disagree with certain things) so all you have to do is sign, fill out your info and send.

We all love to get things, it’s how our culture works. Check out these organizations where you donate while at the same time gaining something of quality material. Daughters of Cambodia and their PDF Catolog.

Volunteering doesn’t have the old-fashioned meaning of having to drive to a brick and mortar location to do your good deed. The Pixel Project is an organization that needs volunteers on a social media level, raising awareness to stop violence against women through the thing you do best: facebooking and e-mailing.

For the activist: Have a women’s organization idea? Here’s someone who wants to help you, Mama Cash.

One more thing, it’s easy to feel like women are still a minority, especially with all the hogabosh going on in Washington however, let’s not forget all the women in history who fought for the rights we do have thanks to them and allow that to serve as an inspiration to keep fighting for the rights that still are not ours. Big hugs to all my sisters!