It’s Not Cute

by Amelia Kanan

It's not cute when you pull something out of your purse and this happens on a regular basis.

A lot of people accuse me of trying to “look cute” while making stupid decisions or being in compromising positions. Up until a few days ago, I would argue with that. I saw myself  as being redeeming and endearing for remaining optimistic while on a road spewed with debris. Before, I couldn’t understand everyone else’s frustration behind my flubs. I didn’t see my complications as carelessness but rather “bad luck” and I thought it was so hurtful for the ones around me to be angry with me for it; it was my problem, not theirs. However, thanks to my brother and a few other consequences I’ve had to deal with, somehow, it’s clicked. I get it. I can see how my optimism was in fact a sort of arrogance, a lack of ownership, carelessness and absolute ignorance. Since this new revelation, I am now filled with humiliation and self-deprecation while looking back at all of my past mishaps. I want to apologize to all those who have had to experience these irritations and thank you to those who have went on to love and forgive me for them. I hope this is a new leaf because it’s well, to be honest, I want to be cute. Here are a few of the things I can’t stop thinking about:

It’s not cute losing your wallet, driver’s license, social security and ATM cards.

It’s not cute when you injure yourself playing frisbee and can’t work out for 6 months.

It’s not cute having a purse filled over capacity and with things like silverware, screwdrivers and make-up remover pads.

It’s not cute having bruises all over your legs, arms and face from running into things.

It’s not cute being rude to someone who is talking loudly in a public space when you yourself did that the day before.

It’s not cute having crumpled documents.

It’s not cute driving on a sidewalk because you believe there should be a driveway there.

It’s not cute spilling things all over yourself and other people, let alone spitting things out of your mouth when you laugh.

It’s not cute slipping and falling on ice on the security camera and getting all dirty and having to go home early on your first day of work

It’s not cute when your skirt gets stuck in your tights.

It’s not cute getting into car accidents.