Truth Be Told
by Amelia Kanan
Ready for some genuine, gut twisting, cringe-when-I say-it honesty?
I love my parents and I don’t care who knows it.
My parents are back from the FLA and truth be told, their vacay away was hard on me. Who knew that my 30-year-old spinster ass would miss them so much?
It’s not a secret that I need people around me. But, it did surprise me that the two people who irritate me in a way no one else does seem to be better company for my well-being than no one at all.
While my two biggest irritants were away golfing in the sun, I spent a lot of time alone. At first, it was amazing. I cooked, organized, painted, wrote, had dance parties, worked out in “my dad’s” gym, soaked up the quietness and truly breathed in the alone time that I had been so desperate for, eve only after one month of living with them.
Fast forward through that first week montage of Amelia-reconnecting-with-herself. Hit play on the opening for the scene of Empty Nest Week #2: Tuesday at 11am, Amelia is slumped on the couch. An episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion is playing while Amelia stares blank faced, disheveled, un-showered and still in her pajamas. No coffee, no breakfast, no yoga. “What’s the point? There’s no one to share it with.” Amelia thinks to herself, out loud.
Ok, that was super dramatic and it should probably be mentioned that this certain week lined up with another very important time of the month…So, biology played a big role as well. I moped, cried about where I was in life, skipped yoga, ordered chinese, gave myself dirty looks in the mirror, left depressing voicemails to friends I haven’t talked to in a long time, drank a lot of wine…telling myself I needed to get a head start on that DIY Chandelier I’m trying to make.
Here’s my theory:
Humans are healthy for humans. At least, this human (me). I need someone to say “good morning” to, say “goodnight” to, someone to ignore when I don’t want to talk but someone who is going to be there in two hours when I am done being quiet. Too much quiet hurts me. I have a lot of it, I spend the majority of my time alone, quiet, in my own world and isolated…too much of that isn’t healthy. It gets depressing. I need someone around me who pulls me out of it, even if it pisses me off. Not to mention, I need people to cook for, people who appreciate it (I don’t cook for anyone who doesn’t appreciate it, i.e. my brother).
I realized a lot with them away. I realized how much my parents provide a lot of the things I lost when moving from Los Angeles. Hugs, compliments, encouragement, enthusiasm, company to laugh with on a Monday night watching stupid TV, backboards for ideas, people to vent to, etc.
So, no, I’m not embarrassed that I love my parents. Love that I have this time to sponge up all the knowledge, wisdom, annoyance and free love that I possibly can before I move again, begin my own family and/or (I have to say it) before the inevitable happens.
Tonight, was the best Sunday night I’ve had in a long time. Our neighbor, Barbie from the Block who shall remain ageless, came over per usual. My mom and I made dinner, we made a fire and watched a horrible SJP movie (“I Don’t Know How She Does It?”-I thought the question was in reference to the ridick amount of plastic surgery my-fallen-idol has done to herself). By the by, my mother and I have worlds-apart movie taste and I let her have the pick of the night and acted excited when she picked it (insert: a crowd saying “Awww, that’s so nice Amelia. You really have changed as a daughter.”). Meanwhile, Papa J played “sick” up stairs. He did make sure to cough just loud enough for us to hear him, forcing us to pause the movie every once in a while and ask loudly “Are you OK?” up the stairs. Miraculously, he was just fine.
If any of this sounds weird to you, unhealthy, uncomfortable or so bizarre you have a twisted look on your face while you read this…all I can say is, I am so sorry that you can’t grasp this and I hope one day, for the sake of your soul, you will.
As for me, right now, I’m going to bed with relaxed muscles and I cannot wait to wake up tomorrow and have the best week ever.