by Amelia Kanan
I’m not one to lie (exaggeration doesn’t count, bitches) and since I am sort of employed now, no longer living out of my car aka homeless and living in the ol’ mitten once again it’s time to change the title of this motha flippin’ blog to reflect all this. To be perfectly honest, “Homeless and Jobless but Unbeatable” was intended to just be a working title anyway.
“Sexless Near the City” was actually not my own concept and I owe all the credit to my wonderfully witty cousin Ryan Burger. He said it as a joke but little did he know how fast those gears in my brain started grinding. The tittle is perfect and for all you prudes who gasped when reading the word “Sexless” on your news feed, you can settle down and shake out your Puritan rooted mentality. Take a breath and understand that it’s a joke and intended to act as a metaphor due to the fact I am almost 30 and have moved back in (temporarily) with Mamma and Pops. Most of the changes I’m going to be going through will be largely due to the fact that I am an independent adult who is now sharing a space with the two people who raised me. This change will not only affect my dating life but also my television viewing habits, cooking rights, my highly needed quiet/alone time and my sanity because every move I seem to make within my house is sure to be followed up with a “What are you doing, Amelia?” by two crinkled eyebrows and a look of concern. “Going to bathroom, Dad. Just going to the bathroom.” It’s good to be home but it’s it even better to have a title for my blog that I absolutely love. Thanks, Ryan!