I’m not your Monkey

by Amelia Kanan

When you’re known as someone who is outgoing, the life of the party and, excuse me for laying on own horn but, really-indredibly-stomach-hurting-can’t-breathe funny-you have an expectation from others. You’re expected to be on stage, live, camera ready and quick to deliver. Well, let me tell ya a little sumpin’…there’s a lot to this shiz. With writing being my main focus as of late, I spend my days trying to entertain through words and experiences. This process can feel incredibly isolating and internal. I can be seen in public, with my headphones on, crinkled eyes and pursed lips. Either I appear to be reading intently or beaming broadly while frantically tapping at my keyboard with my fingers (also known as typing). My expressions can look as if I’m in a conversation plus, I sometimes mouth my words that I type. I can’t begin to explain how fulfilled I’m beginning to feel however, it’s draining. Exhausting. My biggest writing struggle has been learning how to write as I speak because I have two very different voices and shutting off my external self helps me get closer to The Merge. Plus, this might be hard to believe but, listening to my voice for such long periods of time can get old, even for me. So, when I’m around people I want to listen and get into someone else’s head.

Moral of the story: Amelia is currently under construction. She’ll find her sea legs and come to but in the mean time, do a little role reversal. Tell her stories and try to make her laugh so she can be at ease. Thank you-The Management

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