Things just got real.
This week has been a little out of whack. I had jumped into a routine when I first arrived and was quick not to get distracted. This week I allowed distraction to creep in. I’m not regretful in all the socialization because it showed me that I have that sort of outlet here when I do need it. However, at this point in my life, I need to work. If I’m going to become the person I want to become with the sort of success I want to have, I need to keep my nose to the ground (I don’t know if that’s the right saying to use but…you know what I mean). This week has also given me perspective on a few other things…
– My social skills have become weird. Either I talk too much or not enough. All day long, I hear myself talk, make myself laugh, feel sad, over analyze blah blah blah. I have to explain, tell stories, entertain and examine my feelings and thoughts. So much of what I’m doing is internal and to switch into the external can be difficult. I know I’ll find my balance, it’s just a strange hiccup for me to experience.
– I cancelled my wine club subscriptions. My little comfy, beautiful, vacation of a life is gone and guess what? I’m not sad but excited.
– I actually said “no” to a date. I’m not going out with someone who I’m not interested in just for the sake of attention and the opportunity to make out. Maturity is on the horizon.